Shutter Island

This isn't quite a movie review, cause I'd hate to ruin the flick for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.
But I will say, I just came from Shutter Island, and it's got me dying to talk to someone about it. There were so many aspects of the movie that I've been playing back, saying, "Well, wait...what was that part then?"

I enjoy a movie that forces me to analyze the possibilities early and often throughout the plot development. And this one did not disappoint. It kept me guessing and guessing and guessin! It was great.

However, the conclusion gave rise to all types of questions. Many I'd love to voice, but I don't wanna ruin the flick. Soooo, feel free to holler at me, and share your insights on it. And ask YOUR questions about it, cause I'm so very much in need of dialoguing about this movie!

Peace and Love

Goodbye to a Legend

My stomach dropped when I saw the news. The Eagles have done the unthinkable. After 8 seasons of highlight after highlight. Marred only by recent injuries (concussions) the Philadelphia Eagles have let go of our all time leading yards gainer, Brian Westbrook.

It all makes sense from the business stand point. Aging back, questionable health, lots of money tied up in him. But DAMN, that's Brian Westbrook. He's delivered so many magical moments for this franchise. It's downright frustrating to see him shown the door on any terms other than his. Call me a fanatic, but this is where the business of sport rubs me the wrong way. After all the beatings this man has taken for this team. All the health issues that will surely plague the rest of his days, this team kicks him to the curb with no remorse whatsoever. I hate it.

Who knows, maybe we'll miraculously re-sign him for less in the future. But for the time being, we Eagles fans are being forced to say goodbye to another beloved pillar of our franchise. Thank You Brian for all the years of excitement, dedication, and playing the game the right way!

And for the record... if Mc Nabb goes, I go!! :)

Til then...Go Eagles

From Purpose to Worthless and everything in between

One of my favorite all time movie scenes takes place in the Matrix Reloaded. It's when Neo first comes across the new and improved Agent Smith, who is now capable of multiplying himself.
He introduces himselves by spurting off a spiel about PURPOSE.

"There's no escaping reason, no evading purpose, because we both know, that without purpose there is no reason to exist. It is purpose that created us, purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us, that defines, it is purpose that binds us."

I've had numerous conversations recently that have revolved around this theme. And it never ceases to amaze me how each of those in my circle continue to strive to redefine their own sense of purpose through their works, whether that be within the community or by way of their careers.

I recall awakening many a morning (or afternoon) with a very tangible feeling of emptiness in my gut. Often times it came spontaneously, but the most notable occurrence came just days after my college graduation.

At this time when the 'real' world seemed to be beckoning from below as I stood on cliff's edge, I remember feeling sick as a dog. Overwhelmed with not only the inherent responsibilities to come, but also the lack of clarity as to where I was heading.

Numerous times I blamed this sensation on my whereabouts. At 1st it was Horseheads, NY. "If I could only get out of this town, maybe I can do something with my life." Then it was Maine, "I swear I have so much potential, but I'm trapped up here in the corner of the country with a bunch of moose!" It wasn't until I graduated and ventured off to Egypt that a chilling realization set in.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was living in Aswan at the time, when I awoke to be revisited by that oh so familiar feeling of hopelessness. Every time I'd experienced that sensation prior to this, I had rationalized it as being a result of my surroundings. But it took me traveling to the other side of the planet, and being surrounded by all things exotic, to awaken to the root of the problem. ME.

As time has progressed, I've accumulated enough experiences to grasp that surroundings do still play a part, but it's purpose that truly fuels the days activities. And as I contrast the opportunities I've engaged in versus those I've declined, the underlying question remains is this difference making work? Whether that be in music, career or even social interactions, it's a beautiful standard to remind self of from time to time.

And I must say, that is a large part of why Santa Cruz resonates with me. The majority of the people in my circle are living lives full of purpose. They've chosen work that is a reflection in some degree of their highest good. And it's evident in their self esteem and overall sense of joy.

Although our reasons for living may vary from time to time. And our motivations will certainly change throughout life's phases. I think one of the true keys to a joyous life is cultivating a path that calls forth purpose. From the simplest of action, to the most calculated, I can only hope that each of you is so lucky as to continuously rediscover yours within your daily interactions.

One Love

League Championship

As many of you know I've been assistant coaching at Santa Cruz High School. The experience has been undoubtedly one of the most profound of my life, especially in terms of dealing with kids and having the opportunity to build based on a common love.

As great as many of my classroom experiences have been, I'd have to say they pale in comparison to what we've shared throughout this season. Overseeing the growth and development of a team from November to now has offered a very unique set of dynamics that's ranged from exhilaration to borderline insanity.

Yet through it all, the one constant has remained coach. Simply put, Bill Domhoff is the man. I couldn't have asked for a better person to assist. His approach to the game and his demeanor with the guys is extraordinary. What's impressed me most has been his ability to read the guys and modify his interactions with them based on what they need most in that moment.

Of course some of the guys didn't see the bigger picture when it all began, but that's what's been equally impressive. After a few initial conflicts, everyone has bought into the team concept and the foundation laid by coach. We had one kid quit, which was an absolute blessing because he lacked the character to be a piece of the team that was steadily finding it's identity. And more than anything learning to trust each other.

As ideal as coach's vibe is, ultimately it boils down to the guys. And these kids put the C in Coachable. From day one they've been receptive and willing to work on whatever we put before them. The results of which led to a 15-9 regular season record with a 10-2 mark in league. Both losses coming at the hands of St. Francis. A senior heavy team that finished the season at 22-0.

As fate would have it, we met them in the league championship last night. In a jam packed gym, the guys laced em up and went to work with a very clear purpose. Be Champions.

After great preparation, our guys came out and played the perfect game. Defensively they communicated like veterans, boxed out with discipline and maintained an intensity that deflated any hopes our opponent had of continuing the magical ride. We held them to 11 points in the 1st half, including just 3 in the 2nd quarter. It was a clinic.

On the offensive side of the ball, we executed with patience and diligence. Not really having an impressive shooting night, we still managed to come up big when needed. This was highlighted by one of our Junior's Zen Maki, stepping up big. Sinking clutch bucket after clutch bucket as he knifed through their defense seemingly at will. He finished with 19 and almost all of them left us pumping our fists and nodding our heads as if to say Hell YEAH!

When the final buzzer rang it was 40-31 Santa Cruz. And for the 1st time all year it all made sense. Every practice, every coaching point, every frustration, every celebration, it all culminated and took shape right there before our eyes. The end result...Champions!

I couldn't be happier for these guys and their families. Cause it was definitely a magical night.

That being said...time to get back to work cause we've got sectionals to come.

Not your ordinary DMV experience

Who said a trip to the DMV has to be boring?!?
A friend of mine just reluctantly made his way back to Japan. After a 5 year stint here in the States, his visa was on the brink of expiring and despite his love affair for this country of ours, he was 'forced' to return to his homeland.

This is not a sad story, however. Before departing, he decided to pass on his whip at a very reasonable cost. One that made me smile. And aligned a trip to L.A. which proved to be monumental. (I shot my 1st 'official' music video)

Upon return, I had to take care of all the logistics. Registration, Insurance...all that good stuff. The registration bit, landed me at the DMV for a brief stint initially. Coincidentally, the lady who took care of me (whom sighed heavily as I approached as if life could be no worse,) had a picture of her grandson pasted to her wall. Her grandson who just happened to be one of the stars on our JV squad. The connection enlightened her exponentially and made for a quite the pleasant experience.

HOWEVER, the result of our exchange led to a return trip. After getting my vehicle smogged, I had to come back with the proof. THIS time, the line was damn near out the door. I looked, turned around and began walking out. Two steps toward the parking lot, a GREAT friend of mine, Krystal, comes prancing in my direction. NOOO WAAAAAY! Alright. Ok..I can do this.

So we ventured in, waited. Got our numbers and then debated on whether or not to stay. Well, she debated, I pretty much said 'fuck this, I'm out!' Don't ya know, as I headed toward the door, I ran into another friend, Donda, who happens to sing for a Brazilian band out here Sambada. We chatted about their upcoming album release and ensuing tour, before she turned the mic over to me. I mentioned just filming the video down in L.A. this past weekend and her eyes lit up!

"You have to meet my husband. He makes videos, documentaries...all that." I just smiled and he appeared moments later. Upon mentioning the video business he proceeded to mention the forthcoming Santa Cruz Film Festival competition which is for 'Best music video.' And get this, the prize for the winner is a new MacBook Pro. What so big about that? I just talked to the producer who shot the video, and he dropped his computer about an hour before I sent him the message about the contest. Rendering it, all but useless. Go Figure.

Anyhow, my friend, Krystal and I decided to stroll over to Verizon to kill some time. The convo enroute was hilarious. We peaked into DMV upon return and we were still a good 20 #'s down. "I'm feeling like Ice Cream!" she proclaimed. Music to me ears. We ventured across the street and copped some haagen daz. Sat outside and enjoyed the Cali sun. Eventually, we casually strolled back to the DMV, and the second we walked in the door....my number was being called!!

How amazing is that!

We both handled our business, and left with our hands full of papers, but our souls rejuvenated from undoubtedly the most adventurous trip to the DMV I've ever experienced!!

LIFE!

Divine Alignment

After finishing up a trying project in LA, I managed to make my way back to the most comfortable place I know on Earth (community wise at least) Santa Cruz. "The Plan" was to sublet a friend's place while he returned back to The Motherland to spend the next 5 months with his family. An ideal scenario for me on account of my lone mission at this time of year: STAY WARM! Not to mention I was chomping at the bit to get back in the gym with my boys. (I'm pretty sure I've spoken on being an assistant basketball coach at Santa Cruz High School these days)

As fate would have it, I arrived in Santa Cruz, jumped through a few hoops to get in touch with my future roommate and reached out. He reluctantly disclosed that he'd actually spoken to the, now African bound, friend of mine and they'd come the conclusion that I wasn't staying there. A minor detail he'd neglected to mention when I spoke to him just 5 days before his departure.

Needless to say, I was a tad bit pissed, as all my plans were centered around this very critical piece of the puzzle. However, amidst the fury and extreme disappointment, there remained a calm, almost anticipation of the adventure to unfold. If I were any other place on the planet, perhaps I'd been a little more on edge. But for those of you that know the Cruz, you are certainly well aware of the magic that underlies all things. And for those of you that know me, this seems to be the time when Divinity gets to illuminating that golden path. And this undoubtedly had the feel of one of those situations that initially looks like drama but eventually pans out to be just what the doctor ordered.

The Very Next Day, my friend Summer returned from her holiday adventures and revealed a room in her place was opening up in early February. That was the breath of freshness I needed right there. At the very least it solidified some sort of living space if even down the road a bit.

Later that night I stopped by Cafe Mare to holler at a few of the folks I used to work with. While there, my man Dylan informed me that his brother's vehicle had been sitting around and was in need of some driving since his passing. An offer that was both beautiful and tragic. Teddy passed on November 20th, sending a shockwave through the community for all who knew him. To say it felt awkward would be an understatement when I thought of me benefitting in some way from his death. But the giving didn't stop there.

The next day, Dylan called me to give me the OK on the whip, and then proceeded to extend his brother's room to me for the time leading up to Summer's place opening up. Absolutely Divine. I've always called his family my Santa Cruz fam, but I had no idea it would grow to this extent. Not only was I honored that they'd open their home to me in general, but when factoring in the sensitivity of the time, it was an extremely humbling extension. One I did and do not take lightly. My prayer immediately became "Spirit, please use me to bring whatever light possible to this family." So I've been buying the liquor and getting em drunk every night since! :)

Nah, but on a serious note, it's been a rare opportunity (for lack of a better word) to witness the dynamics of the days that follow. Although I do not have the wealth of memories that the family shares from time to time, I certainly feel like I'm getting greater insight as to who he is/was as their anecdotes offer greater depth.

What is absolutely beautiful about this family is despite the tragedy, they truly honor his life everyday. There is rarely a conversation that doesn't venture the direction of "when Teddy was here...." almost all of which end in hysterical laughter. Whether it's Grandma telling me how she used to leave the things she needed done in the upper reaches of her home for him to do. Or Mom reflecting on some of the misconceptions his friends had about him. There's something very soulful about how they continue to keep him present.

I feel that is not only a testament to his life, but also the genuine beauty of this family. Without question, they are one of the healthiest families I've encountered. They make it a point to sit down and eat together at least once a week. But usually do so more often than that. And it's not the type of thing where one of them is rolling their eyes at the obligation of having to do so either.

Grandma lives right next door and at 83 she's just as sharp and entertaining as any of them. She watches more Sportscenter than I do, and if you have anything negative to say about USC football, you better be out of throwing range when doing so!

Today was one of those days where I connected with each of them in very unique ways. All of which left me with that uncontrollable extra beamy glow/grin thing happening. And it's the kind of day where I can't help but reflect and acknowledge just how perfect the alignment of events has worked out, shedding even more light on this thing called life.

Much Appreciation

Merry Creemos

Due to a series of unfortunate events. I couldn't make it home this year for Christmas. That makes two in a row. And Mom let it be known...she's counting!

A few of my friends here in the L.A. area offered to bring me along to their respective gatherings. Each of which sounded intriguing in their own special way. However, I settled on spending the holiday with one of my bestest friends...Summer, who resides out in Ojai. The decision proved to be just what the doctor ordered.

I trained out to Ventura where she picked me up and escorted me to this quaint little area. It was night time when I arrived, but she let it be known that the surroundings were absolutely gorgeous. "Wait til you see this place in the morning," was a recurring theme.

As for Christmas Eve, it was so familiar that it felt like I was back in New York with my very own family. Mom wrapping last minute gifts. Egg Nog with your choice of liquor to choose from. Pumpkin bread was an added bonus. One I wouldn't have minded scooping up the recipe for and making a part of the Gary family tradition. But best of all was the conversations unfolding between all those present. More than anything our chit chats set the tone and confirmed the already obvious, that I was amidst good people.

And the good people only multiplied the next day. Not long after I rose, did the family start pouring in. Uncle's, Aunt's, cousins, Grandma! It was a scene I'd witnessed many a times before yet had it's own unique flavor to it on account of those in attendance.

As promised, the natural surroundings attested to beauty beyond words. Summer is an avid gardener. One who is constantly grabbing a flower, or random leaf and saying, "Smell this." Each time leaving me shaking my head in disbelief... 'How did you know that?" Strolling around the premises shed light on just where all of that natural appreciation and gardening ability came from. Her mom had the place decked out. Whether it be the actual plant life (cactus/cacti) or even the unprecedented placement of bowling balls throughout the garden, the whole place had a very zen feel to it.

And that was just the immediate surroundings. As my gaze zoomed outward, I took in the sights of nice sized mountain across the way, which inherently gave birth to the valley which lied between us. More than anything, it was the peace here that struck a chord.

I searched my memory in attempt to recall the last time I'd felt/experienced peace and quiet on this level and I was hard pressed to do so. It was so quiet I could hear the dog barking from across the valley. This alone shed layers of mental chatter and concrete jungle-isms that I was previously unaware of. And as my mind attempted to clear itself of the typical rants that had plagued it, I surrendered and simply basked in the presence of it all. Hurrying not, to speak, move or distract myself.

Eventually more humans arrived, and so began the dance that is Christmas. The gift exchange was not as pronounced as it is in our household, but it was really awesome to not only have a card to open from my "family" in Tokyo. But even have a gift complements of Summer's mom.

By early afternoon there were upwards of 30 people in the house, each weaving our way in and out of conversations, food and Spirits (of each kind.) It was a beautiful collection of souls. One in which seemed void of judgment or any of the family dramas that plague many a gatherings.

Prior to the guests arrival, there were at least 10 guitars in random locations throughout the house. A sight that seemed a bit excessive at 1st, yet sparked a degree of curiosity as I wondered, what in the world could someone do with ALL these guitars? The answer soon presented itself as the jam session of a lifetime commenced right before my eyes.

There were some truly talented musicians amongst us. Each of which graced us with a few tunes from within their arsenal. What amazed me was not only their musicianship, but also how well they fed off of each other. Although I 'dibble dabble' in the realm, I was a bit intimidated by the where-with-all they exemplified.

The most recent addition and pleasant surprise for all involved was the arrival of a couple of English girls who have their own band Athena. This was their 1st time being in the States for the holidays, and they lucked up and found this haven for musicians in which they fit right in. Their songs were moving and I had to make an extra effort to not appear too interested :) Cool may be the death of me!

As it turned out, they just happened to be staying in Hollywood, not far from my hotel. As fate would have it, I ended up riding back with them which gave us the perfect opportunity to reflect on the magic of the night. The people, the food, the feelings, it was all indicative of a great holiday experience. One that could never be duplicated.

So...I apologize Mom for not making it home. But please believe your boy was in good hands when it was all said and done.

Divinity continues to align with perfect timing and placement. Can't wait to see what comes next.

Bless